It'll Never Work
by Eternal Grey
Summary: Sora is straight, he likes Riku but will never do a thing. Riku is bi and everyone knows it. He's always flirting with guys and he's Sora's best friend. It'll never work.


I understand. It could never work out and I'm an idiot. I know all this and yet I'm still the idiot waiting outside the lockers for him every day. Don't ask me why. I honestly don't know. This is our third year being friends. It used to be best friends but somehow it changed.

I guess I know when… but I don't want to think about that.

Life is hard. I mean, homosexuality is not accepted. Sometimes it is but there are even death penalties for it in some parts of the world. That's just how life works at times. Still… I can't believe I'm stuck dealing with this. I guess it's his fault.

Riku, I mean.

He is the one who decided one day that he's bisexual. Okay I know that's wrong. He didn't just _decide_ to be bi. It's what he is. I can't blame him for it. I just have to deal since now I'm completely different than the kid my parents think I am.

I like girls. No, better yet, I love them. As a guy, that's what's expected of me. By the time I'm a senior I have to be a sex fiend. That's just what's expected. But thanks to Riku… I'm bi. Well not bi per say. I just like girls and Riku.

Too bad Riku has a slight thing for Roxas, of which the guy (who is also bi) rejected him wanting Namine instead. I patted Riku on the back and informed him that there are other guys and girls out there. I would never suggest myself. It would never work out. I love my family and they would get mad at me.

Besides, we've been there done that, it's over now.

It was a short story. He wrote me a letter, I accepted. Next day I told him I was straight.

That was last year and since then my views have changed. I'll never tell him that though because it's not something that he can understand without getting pissed off. It'd be wrong to say 'hey man, I like you, but uh… I would never go out with you and be serious about it.' It's completely wrong.

"Hey Sora." Riku said walking past me. I followed him and grinned knowing that this is wrong. I'll never tell him about my feelings but I'll tell him anything else. "I really want to get you drunk." He sighed for the hundredth time.

"That way you can know all my secrets?" I laughed making him grin and nod. He tells me everything he can think of that way I know it all and he has someone to talk to. I don't tell him all that much even though I talk a lot more in our relationship.

"I can't believe you won't tell me any of this stuff!" Riku laughed poking me in the side. I flinched and moved away from him. He and just about everyone else knows I have personal space issues. I guess it goes along with my past.

"Yea well… I don't wana." I said simply and started to walk faster. Riku just laughed and started making plans about us going to Austin, a hippie town that never grows up, just to get me drunk. I just laughed knowing that it'll never happen.

After high school we'll never see each other.

I have a lot of secrets for a lot of reasons. I guess it's just because it hurts to let people know that I don't trust them. It hurts even more when they betray you. I started keeping secrets when I was going to tell Selphie a secret then told her that I was a good singer instead. She immediately yelled to the world that I was a good singer.

Since then… I have secrets.

I never told anyone the truth of what I was really going to tell him that day. The truth that quickly turned into a secret. I guess I'll just have to deal with that fact for the rest of my life. It sucks when humans just aren't trustable. Even Riku isn't.

During English I'm all alone with none of my friends except Namine. She's always listened to me but I never tell her anything substantial. I could but I guess… I don't want to be understood. If that happens then… I guess I'll feel like I've lost everything.

"Your conscious desires and your sub-conscious desires are normally different. I once knew a woman who told me that she wanted to be seen as a lady. A real wise woman that others can come to for advice, but she was an alcoholic that always wakes up with men she doesn't know! Her conscious sought wisdom and virtue while her sub-conscious sought love." My teacher said making my eyes widen.

My conscious… that's the me who knows one day I'm going to find a girl and settle down. My sub-conscious wants me to be with Riku. That can't happen. If that does… then I don't know what I'll do. "The alcohol brought out her sub-conscious desires… the ones she kept hidden from the world." He continued making me smile bitterly. I can't ever get drunk.

"An interesting thought, in a way." Namine said with an innocent smile. I looked at her for a moment. She must not be at odds with her sub-conscious if she's able to say it so kindly. I opened my mouth to reply but then our teacher told us to continue to read the Shakespearian novel, Much Ado About Nothing.

I let Shakespeare take me away from the world around me and bring me into another world where nothing else matters but this. The drama between Benedict and Beatrice, and the false romance between Claudio and Hero was the world I let myself live in. When the bell rang a shiver ran up my spine. I'm going to have to leave that world now.

"Good work, guys. Let's pick up where we left off tomorrow." Our teacher said with a curt nod and a wave. I like his class a lot even though I'm stuck in the high C range. He can help me raise it though if I talk to him. I just haven't really found the time. I wonder why that is…

Instantly I was inside the classroom. Kairi gave me a look and then turned back to Riku. I just shrugged and sat down next to them. Today our teacher is letting us choose our path for the rest of the school year. Route one or two? Route one is for the kids who want to learn Journalism and route two are for the kids who don't care and were forced into the class.

I wanted to take creative writing. I suck at writing facts. I have for as long as I can remember. I quickly wrote my name on route two. Kairi did the same but Riku chose route one. I guess he just likes a challenge. "I might as well, if he denounces me then he denounces me." I nodded at this trying to hide my disgust.

I don't know why I feel so unhappy at his choice. It's not like it should matter to me. For some reason, everyone in the class thinks that Riku, Kairi, and I are freaks. We are, but it's weird for the whole class and teacher to know. Then again I don't really care all that much.

I stared at Kairi for a moment then shivered. I hate her. I really do. Whenever we're alone with no one there to help me, she just pounces. The girl says things that stick in my mind and kill me. I care what others think, I guess that's because I want to help everyone and make them all happy. It's a strange goal but it's mine.

She'll turn around and tell me about all these people who don't like me, and how certain people think I'm a slut. I can never say anything. I learned in the beginning of this year that most the stuff she says has to be false. This should make me quit listening but I still do. I don't know why. If I say I like someone then she'll tell me how much they hate me.

If I say I care about something then she'll insult me casually about the way I go about doing it. I hate it so much and yet I still listen to her. I smiled at Kairi and she smiled back. I will never tell her to shut up or leave her side. That's just the kind of person I am.

"Everyone in fourth period thinks your bi." Riku informed Kairi. I could tell she was highly insulted. The girl is straight. There's no question. I wanted to laugh but I knew she would kill me and probably get back at me with her sharp tongue later. Everyone at school knows Riku's bi so they're always trying to pair him up with someone.

"What about me?" I asked just as Kairi shrugged in response to Riku's comment. I knew it was hurting her but I didn't have it in me to help her. Riku turned to me and laughed.

"Don't worry! Everyone knows you're straight. There's no question about it!" I wanted to punch him but I didn't. I want everyone to think that because as far as I'm concerned, I am. I will never go out with a guy, and I will only look at girls. That's the way it should be.

"Of course you're straight." Kairi said but I knew she wanted to say something to hurt me. Maybe that's her way of relieving stress. The girl has a boyfriend named Hayner but they only talk on text. They never see each other face to face. I can understand that but she insists that she can't. Even though it's because their parents aren't open to the idea of an online relationship.

We sat around in class doing nothing. Finally I walked up to my teacher and asked to go to the library. He made a big deal about it but let me go. Whenever I'm in the library, I feel like myself. The pain in my chest comes back but smiles come easier and I laugh a lot more. No one here judges me. People in this place like me.

The librarians all know my name and know I'm always on the computer or checking out books. Today I decided to go on the computer to write about everything. I don't know why but whenever I'm around Riku I just want to document it all, even though I don't want any of them to know.

"How are you today?" Olette asked me from the librarian's desk. She's one of the library helpers. I just smiled in response and signed up for a computer. She nodded and gave me number 35. I frowned slightly. I like 36-42 because those computers are by the exit sign and windows. Teachers pass by to go to the secret rooms that lead all over the school, and librarians don't check to see what you're doing over there.

I logged on and got onto Microsoft word 2007. I love this version. It makes everything look so neat and cool with the blue as a border. As I began writing a girl sat next to me. She had long brown hair and brown eyes. I heard someone call her Garnet. She smiled at me. "What class are you writing for?" She asked making me groan inwardly.

"For myself." I answered knowing how this conversation will go. We talked and she found out about my aspirations as a fantasy writer, and I found out about how her life will be after high school. She made me smile a lot in surprise. The girl found me interesting and shocking when she was the one about to live a real adventure.

I logged off my computer. Done writing for the day.


End file.
